Trusting God

Trusting God can be one of the most easiest and hardest thing in my walk with Him.

I hear it in various forms: "Put your trust in God", "Surrender your all to Him", "God is in control and have faith in Him", etc.

In the Christian circle, it is an often-used cliché to encourage a brother or a sister who is struggling for a breakthrough, or has had a major disappointment or setback in life.

The easy part is because there is no effort required from the person quoting. It is easy because as Christians, we know God is always in control and He has allowed the situation to take place. I mean if God is God, when is He ever out of control? 

For someone like me who has received "Trust Him" encouragements from well-meaning friends, it often feels like a motherhood statement.

Invoking these words will somehow magically consolidate every bad thing I have experienced or am struggling through into a ball and it will be tossed into His hands... at least far away from me.

Poof! The ball then 'magically' disappears, and I am not supposed to feel disappointed or hurt anymore. Does it?

The truth is it bloody hurts! Knowing that I don't have the answers or when I can see the end results frustrates me. And for already known bad endings, I feel - resigned. 

Yet I'm supposed to believe in a God who loves me. Conflictingly, I have this deep spark of hope that things might turnaround for me because He loves me.

I often ask two questions (which I'm sure you too):

1. Is God a loving God?
2. If He is so loving, why is it happening to me?

The first question is easy - I know He is a loving Father. God is love. For God so loved the world that He gave Jesus to us.

The second question is the hardest. Please don't tell me I need more faith, or quote me bible verses, or recount how you received your breakthrough.

The reason I am going through the second question is because I don't have much faith left, the bible seems 'dry' to me and I jolly well haven't received my breakthrough.

That's why I say "Trusting God" can be the easiest and hardest thing.

The first question is about knowledge - easy. 

For me, the second question has two parts - knowledge and believe. If I know He is a loving God, do I believe He loves me enough to allow it to happen to me? Interestingly we often forget that in John 3:16, it says "...whomsoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life".

To put it another way, do I believe God is a loving God?

When things are rosy, it is easy to proclaim God is good and loving. It is in the mire of doubts and darkest moments that I cry out to Him - do you really love me?

In Jesus' time, the Jews knew God and His ways. Yet He called them to believe. Believe what? The Jews saw God as God, but Jesus saw God as a loving Father.

There is a difference - head and heart. Knowing that God loves me and believing that He really loves me.

Then suddenly all these pent-up frustrations and disappointments get rolled into a ball and poof! magically appears in His hands. A peace settles.

Ask Jairus about his daughter. Find Peter in his denial and restoration. Interview Thomas about his doubts.

The most difficult becomes the easiest when we believe and trust in Him.